Kurt and I are zany. At least for the time being.
We regularly wake up at 5 anticipating hearing our 5:30 beckoning. We sort that out, and doze a bit more… By 6:30 our house in is full swing – meaning: we have had coffee already, put dishes away, done yoga for 1/2 hour, hung laundry or made muffins… and are onto mediating the countless number of interactions that make up our days at home. We both love our home days and wouldn’t trade it for the world. But going to work is by far less zany! Have a look:
The 2nd photo is me trying to tidy my zany home office. Seriously. This is a crazy time of life. Last year I broke down and had a total fit before going to bed Christmas Day. I completely Failed to “keep on” my holiday mojo. With a capital F. As I prepare for another year’s “holiday”, I am deciding to use quotation marks. Let me explain.
Definition: HOLIDAY = a day of festivity or recreation where no work is done.
First, let me share with you our family’s HOLI-MOMENT (this is the place where we have brief moments where no work is done):
In 4 sleeps I will take 3 kids under 7 away for 7 nights. The first 60 hours Kurt will have a holiday. I will have 3 nights of consecutive evening social events. Then Kurt will join me in our Christmas “holiday” which I envision as follows:
1. attempting to have quality conversation with people (whom I love!),
2. at all kinds of hours, in often indoor spaces,
3. for more than 3 minutes at a time,
4. while juggling the needs of my children and wanting to be present for them too
5. praying I will somehow pull it all off without appearing TOTALLY zany, and
6. all the while trying to fit in with others who are having a day of recreation
7. and maybe grabbing a moment for some self care (a bite to eat, a shower, perhaps a luxury tooth brushing, or heck even a pee!)
Zany. With a capital Z. Our family quite enjoys being Zany.
There we are all dressed up like we are at the North Pole. Nope, only watching an outdoor play at 7pm in this nice temperate Coastal climate. Zany!
Actually, most days at home we manage to find a lot of peace. How is that? Well, after 5+ years of this, Kurt and I have become quite skilled at merely siting back and enjoying everyone’s presence. No matter WHAT. It is all about expectations. For example, within the walls of our own house, having 2 out of 3 kids regulated (i.e. not yelling at the top of their lungs) is a success. Having 1 out of 3 regulated, we can usually manage to carry on. Having zero regulated, we merely exchange knowing glances and give up (i.e. freeze and wait). This does not always work outside of closed doors.
Chances are pretty high that 1 out of 3 children will be upset about something, all of the time. It’s our life. It’s ZANY. And pretty darn cute:
Typically, the zany part is quite easy to keep behind closed doors… but on “holiday” its just a titch more work.
This year I hope to succeed at enjoying everyone’s presence. That’s really what I’m hopping on the ferry to find. Sometimes it is hard to get there. Why?
Well… one example: Kurt and I attempted to have a 2 minute conversation today on the couch. Only 1 child was present. We were interrupted by this dialogue: “You have LOTS of time to talk. Remember back before Daria was born? You should have taken all those minutes, RIGHT THEN, to talk”.
Exactly. If we only we knew (video link).
There is really no job like this job of parenting. We don’t fit any molds. We don’t always succeed. Often we fail miserably. It is a tough job. It is ZANY. With all capitals. If you have found this too serious, I hope you got some laughs from that video! Our life is that and much more.
So, it comes as no surprise to me that our whirlwind tends to disturb the soup of other people’s less zany holidays. But, for better or worse, Kurt and I don’t take holidays from parenting… so we are more taxed in this season than usual. It’s just a fact. We find it unavoidable. You may find us zany. But know this: we will always make the choice to be zany together, as a family. We choose each other, every day.
We enjoy every day as a family. We embrace difference. We aim to be patient. And love. Love, love, love.