V is for Vulnerability

Recently I was introduced to Brene Brown, or at least her TED talk on vulnerability. It is a wonderful expose, and I think it applies in cooking and gardening – to have joy and creativity and love in these activities, one must embrace vulnerability. It will be imperfect… but it will be enough! Brene Brown says “LEAN IN” to the vulnerability.

I realize one of my vulnerabilities is the climate here on the Coast. I want to numb it… my fear of this wet weather. It is painful for me. I am uncomfortable here, knowing the climate is humid, wet,… and I need to find a way to be gentle with myself in this area, and stop screaming (!). LEAN IN. Today I had a reprieve.

IMG_1373 IMG_1372 Small, light crystals fell from the sky with a gentle constancy all day long. The first photo you can see the girls happily sledding down our little hillside towards our hedge. The second is taken as I lie in the snow up by our mailboxes and look down towards our house. A friend in Fort St. John commented “OMG that’s hilarious”. Yes, except from my vantage point it is reality. Now it is simply the light dusting of a town, that takes the edges and the noise out of everything. All that is left is laughter, joy, peace.

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To me it is not hilarious at all that this is a rare snow day for my family. It is tragic. Our day was delightful, perfect – I was truly in heaven on earth. And of course I want more. More, more, more. Here is what I love about snow and why I would give a LOT to have this happen more often:

1. Eating it IMG_1341

2. Lying flat on my belly in it and not getting wet (today was cold enough I could!)

3. Seeing my 6 year old jump out of the van at 1:45, head outdoors, and not dream of coming in until 3.5 hours later when supper was on the table; even then she was outside in the dark, alone (and the best part… not yet cold as it was barely below zero!)

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4. How it breeds activity and industriousness (snow removal out of need, or just fun!)

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5. How it sticks to every branch of a tree and coats every corner of toys, BBQ, chairs, and other paraphernalia,… softening it all just a bit

6. It brings neighbors together to make snowmen (we made one with our backdoor neighbor today!)

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7. Skiing

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8. How it breeds creativity, cooperation, and playfulness

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9. How it brings out big smiles on little faces

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10. How it feels warm in my heart and yet dry, cool and crisp on my face

I will always be a HUGE fan of snow. Most people on the Coast love that it stays “in the mountains where it belongs”. I disagree. And this sets us apart. I strongly believe it belongs outside my doorstep, to greet me and meet me, right there where I need it. Not a 2.5 hour drive (shudder!) away. Life is always easier to take with a good dose of light, crisp snow.

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Logically I know there is so much other beauty to behold here. Still, I will never give up a good snow day. I am so incredibly grateful for today. And I could live a lifetime of todays. I quite simply LOVE snow around my home.

To me this skiff of snow creates in me a struggle, as it may not happen as often as I need it to. Or want it to. I desperately want to grow up with my children in snow. Yet here I am, Coastal. Feeling vulnerable. Struggling. Wanting to fix it. In my snowy steps out to the hot tub tonight I embrace the struggle, as I know it means I am alive! LEAN IN.

IMG_1399 And I take a moment to pray for more than puddles in my family’s future. We SO love our snow days together.

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